Elle Muir

My soul’s curriculum revealed itself to me very early in life, at the age of four, when my mom and dad parted ways. Marred by the unconscious trauma of this abrupt shift in my life’s timeline, I was left believing that I was somehow flawed, inadequate, or broken; that I was not good enough. For almost 40 years I lived in the shadow of that belief, and I held it as my truth. It affected my life on so many levels, while I lived in fear of failure and fear of disappointing those whom I loved. The weight of this burden was heavy, and it played out in my life as fear, shame, anger, judgement, apathy, anxiety, depression, adrenal fatigue, migraines, digestive issues, and insomnia. 

The abandonment wound I suffered would only surface much later in my life, through a pattern of destructive and self-sabotaging tendencies, but it was always there, in the background, driving the perfectionist in me. I developed a persona, or “protective personality” as Dr Sue Morter calls it, rooted in my fear of failure. I was a well-versed “good girl” – an over-achiever, people pleaser, and perfectionist for most of my life. In my world, the more I could control, the less chance there would be of me disappointing anyone in my life and therefore the less likely the chance was that I would be abandoned or hurt by those who loved me.

Being in control, I could protect myself from the many perceived fears, phobias and threats that lurked around every corner in my small, scary mind-made world. It took me half my life to understand that control of this nature is just an illusion. By being in constant resistance with the benevolent flow of life, I was simply prolonging the inevitable. More fear. When I accepted this, I was able to liberate myself by recognising fear for what it truly is – my greatest teacher. Nestled under every fear I held, would be part of my soul’s curriculum, waiting to be unearthed. Until I leaned fully into the fear, life would continue to present me with people and circumstances, to reveal to me, where in my life I was not yet healed, free or fully integrated.

As humans we are constantly seeking to be free of fear, suffering and perceived lack. We have never been taught to welcome our fears, to surrender to them or to feel into the fear. We have been conditioned by society to push them away and to supress them. The mind has us believing through our fears, that we are not complete or good enough as we are and that everything worth having which we need to feel whole and happy, will be attained somewhere in the future. We always believe that we have somewhere to get to before we can feel whole. And so, we unconsciously head off on a lifelong quest to get to the place where we believe we will find happiness, and where we believe we will be free of fear, pain, and suffering. Of course, this is all an illusion and life will remain a struggle for as long as we stay locked into the story of the egoic mind, or as Eckhart Tolle says, for as long as we remain “unconscious in mind identification”.

Because life is a reflection of our own consciousness, to change our point of view on our life situation, we must change our energy. This is the only way in which we can achieve lasting change. Until I could see life from a new perspective – from the perspective that states that everything that had happened in my life up until this point had in fact been serving my expansion and that ultimately everything had unfolded in my favour; my life was stuck, caught up in a thinking-feeling loop of victimhood and suffering, and I found everything that I needed in life, to prove to me, through unconscious manifestation, that life was indeed hard and not to be trusted.

It is only since my soul’s higher purpose has been revealed to me, in perfect and divine timing of course, that I have been able to fully appreciate the value of every life experience I have had up until this point. In her book, The Energy Codes® The 7 Step System to Awaken your Spirit, Dr Sue Morter wrote, “Big beings request big circumstances.” When I first read that line, and then read it again, to make sure it landed fully in my body, I felt like Dr Sue had just given me the key to my soul. This felt like the puzzle piece I had been looking for to finally “join the dots”.  I realised in that moment that I had been looking at all of my “perceived problems” from the wrong perspective my entire life; and that there had in fact never been any problems at all. Life was unfolding in a divine sequence, in my favour and for my highest good and that where I was in this moment, was exactly where I was supposed to be.

In an instant I felt like I landed in my body completely for the first time ever. I made a choice in that moment to adopt a new way from which I saw the world – a complete paradigm shift – one that would change the trajectory of my life forever in only a few short years. The awakening that ensued reading The Energy Codes® book, and the way in which my process has unfolded since that, is nothing short of awe-inspiring. As if guided by an invisible force beyond that which we can conceive, it is like I have locked into the luminous thread of my higher self and this journey, is the reason I have chosen to become an Energy Codes® coach.

With this newfound perspective, I was able to see that perhaps all of the seemingly negative things that had happened to me over the course of my life, were actually components of a highly intricate plan; co-created and manifested by my own subconscious, as friction, to slowly reveal to me all my core woundings which needed to be healed in this lifetime so as to be able to fully embody my soul’s highest purpose here on earth – my “big-ness”. 

Until we have had the experience of a greater reality about ourselves, and until we call back all dispersed and fragmented parts of ourselves, lost through fears and traumas and other life circumstances which were simply “too much” for us to process at the time, we can only come at life from the unconscious universally shared perspective, that we are inadequate in the face of life’s perceived challenges. Operating from this limited perspective, we will always feel that there is something missing, wrong, or broken about us. Without knowing another version of ourselves that is indeed perfect, whole, and complete – the version which the Energy Codes® teach us is the Soulful Self – we have no reference point outside of our tired story of inadequacy, and life seems like a bit of an uphill struggle.

Life is benevolent and unfolding perfectly according to plan. When we see our lives from a new perspective, one that states that we are being served by what is happening, we discover that suffering through life is a choice based purely on perspective.  When we know that everything is unfolding for our highest good, even the toughest life circumstances, as part of a bigger plan, serve a higher purpose. This helped me to renegotiate my relationship with fear and pain and I realised that in life, no one is going to save me. There was nothing and no one outside of me that was going to be able to get inside of my experience of life and free me from it. I recognised that this was my work to do. To do so, I had to come back to my centre, to the truth of my essence and to the knowing that my truest truth would be revealed to me, only from this place. From our core, we are whole and divinely supported.

Through doing this work for myself, a sense of empowerment locked into every aspect of my life. I now know that I control my destiny. Not my life circumstances, not even my DNA has that power. I have a clarity of mind for the first time ever that all is good, that I am whole and perfect and that all of the things that I had been searching for my whole life were actually present inside of me all along. Now, as I live my truest truth, knowing that I create my own reality through my thoughts and beliefs about myself and the world, I can use my life’s curriculum as my guide to help others navigate their way to happiness, peace, grace, and love. For love is our birth right. And we all deserve to experience our “big-ness” and our wholeness in this lifetime.